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AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 22): You have an inventive mind and are
inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand,
you are inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make
the same mistakes over and over again. People think you are stupid.

PISCES (Feb 23 - Mar 20): You have a vivid imagination and often
think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have a minor
influence over your associates and people resent you for your
flaunting of your power. You lack confidence and are generally a
coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.

ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19): You are the pioneer type and hold most
people in contempt. You are quick-tempered, impatient and scornful of
advice. You are not very nice.

TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20): You are practical and persistent. You
have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you
are stubborn and bull-headed. Taurus people have BO and fart a lot.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20): You are a quick and intelligent thinker.
People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to
expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Geminis are
known for committing incest.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22): You are sympathetic and understanding to
other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always
putting things off. That's why you'll never make anything of yourself.
Most welfare recipients are Cancer people.

LEO (July 23 - Aug 22): You consider yourself a born leader. Others
think you are pushy. Most Leo people are bullies. You are vain and
dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are
thieves.

VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22): You are the logical type and hate disorder.
This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and
unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make
good bus drivers.

LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 20): You are the artistic type and have a
difficult time with reality. If you are a man you are more likely to
be gay. Chances for employment and monetary gains are excellent. Most
Libra women are good prostitutes. All Libras have venereal disease.

SCORPIO (Oct 21 - Nov 20): You are shrewd in business and cannot be
trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of your
total lack of ethics. Most Scorpio people are murdered.

SAGGITARIUS (Nov 21 - Dec 20): You are optimistic and
enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you
lack talent. The majority of Saggitarians are drunks or dope fiends.
People laugh at you a great deal.

CAPRICORN (Dec 21 - Jan 19): You are a conservative and afraid of
taking any risks. You don't do much of anything and are lazy. There
has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid
standing still too long as a dog might think you are a tree and piss
on you.

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I'm an Aries and that is just SO me! My personal favorites on this list though are Gemini, Cancer and Libra, LMAO!!!
 
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Ok, I am under the sign Aquarius, I expected a list of fine qualities there but I got a suprise. For an Aries, you are not very nice.
 

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VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22): You are the logical type and hate disorder.
This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and
unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make
good bus drivers.
Well I guess I should go be a bus driver instead of an officer...That's what changing careers if all about!
 

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LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 20): You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a man you are more likely to be gay. Chances for employment and monetary gains are excellent. Most
Libra women are good prostitutes. All Libras have venereal disease.

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I'm an Aries and that is just SO me! My personal favorites on this list though are Gemini, Cancer and Libra, LMAO!!!
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality... I'm certainly NOT artistic.

If you are a man you are more likely to be gay...Ahhh...way off on that one.

Chances for employment and monetary gains are excellent... I can live with this part $$$$

Most Libra women are good prostitutes... Hey, the success of a prostitute has to fall under some sign I guess, why not libra.

All Libras have venereal disease... Definately not good

Except for the employment and financial stability I am definately going to try and change my birthday. :cake:
 

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Pretty dead on for Taurus, except the BO part. I do fart a lot, though...you should hear my fart rendition of "Yankee Doodle"! :shock:
 
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