I spent most of the night debating on going to the funeral. I was leaning heavilly towards it but at the last minute, I backed out. Never mind the fact that my shoes weren't shined-minor point all in all, but I was pooped. The whole ride home I felt guilty. No real reason to I suppose, especially with my Dept's Honor Guard going, but I haven't attended one in years. I thank GOD there hasn't been very many in Mass., and I DID attend the wake of my Brother from the BC Police a couple of years ago, but it's been gnawing at me. Still is, but I know I'm better off being home so I'm ready to fight crime tonight-NEW YEARS EVE. I'm just hoping for a very DEAD night. To all that did go today, God Bless you all for putting out that effort when I should have made that effort myself. I saw on the news just how many were showing up and it made me both proud and ashamed at the same time. I've atteneded MANY funerals in the past (especially when I was with the Honor Guard) but I feel I've lost touch with the human side of the whole thing. So here I sit, ready to fall asleep, assisted by a couple of glasses of wine, and leaving it to the rest of you to pay respects. It's very similar to my military service. This is NOT self pity. This is showing respect to those of you who actually DID what needed to be done from someone who should have, but didn't. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving Officer Maguire the send off he very much deserved. God Bless him and God Bless you all.