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Rules of the Road(revised edition for 2005)

Speed Limits:
Speed limits are posted for a reason. That reason is government revenue. Under no circumstances should motorists drive at the speed limit. You should always drive at least 5mph below or 15mph above the posted limit. If any other motorist is going at the limit you should begin tailgaiting them or drive even slower if they are behind you.

4-way stops:
A common myth is that the first person to arrive at a 4-way stop should proceed through first. This is not correct, the correct protocol is for the first person to arrive at the stop to wait for the second person there to assume right of way has been given up, at the point the second person proceeds forward the first vehicle should start forward. At this point both parties are to slam on their brakes and begin gesturing. After some gesturing the second person to arrive shall back up to the stop line allowing the first to proceed. Then the third person there shall quickly stop then accelerate rapidly through the intersection. At this point the second vehicle may proceed.

Right turn on red:
If you are aproaching an intersection with a sign stating "No turn on red" and the light turns red, proceed through the red light without stopping and make your right hand turn, forcing oncoming traffic to stop abruptly. Those driving large trucks should take up no less than 2 lanes of traffic in this manuever.

Lane Changes:
When changing lanes follow steps in this order
1. Get as close to the vehicle in front of you as possible.
2. Begin turning into the other lane.
3. Accelerate rapidly.
4. Signal.

Sharing the road with tractor trailers:
If you find yourself on a multilane street next to a tractor trailer at a stoplight your duty is to match speed with that truck once the light turns green so that vehicles with better acceleration cannot pass and hurt the driver's feelings.

Crown Victorias:
If you spot a crown victoria on the road near you immediately reduce your speed to 10mph below the legal limit. Do not make any lane changes. Stop at green lights. Drive as erraticly as possible.

Following Distances:
Research has shown that many people in the united states often feel lonely. To combat this problem all motorists should drive as close together as possible to encourage mental health.

If you are pulled over:
If a police car is behind you with their lightbar activated stop immediatly especially if on a busy street or highway. This will encourage the officer to handle the stop in a timely manner. Whatever you do, do not contine until you find a safe place to pull off of the road.

Turn lanes:
Turn lanes were created to give people a place to pass. However they have other uses. For example if you have no idea where you are going or what you are doing pull into a left turn lane at the next intersection. When the light turns green accelerate rapidly and make a sharp turn to the right, nearly hitting the vehicle in the straight lane who is illegaly trying to go straight. Now you're in a good position to begin multiple lane changes in front of the motorist you just cut off, then finally turn back in the direction you just came from.

Lanes that end:
If you see a sign indicating that the right lane is about to end immediatly get into the right lane and attempt to pass/force people in the left lane off the road. If you see a sign saying that the left lane is about to end do the opposite.

Cell phones:
It is unlawful to drive without a cell phone pressed against your ear except when dialing. Remember, you have a resposibility to the party you are talking to so do not be distracted by your driving.

Large parking lots:
In large parking lots, such as at a university where there are two wide lanes connecting to the street and narrow lanes running between the parked cars, the narrower lanes have the right of way. People turning from the narrow lanes onto the wide main lanes should make their turn as quickly as possible and NEVER look for oncoming traffic. If you accidently see oncoming traffic pull out immediately so that the oncoming motorist may verify the functionality of their brake system. All vehicles should be moving at a minimum of 20mph. All pedestrians should walk in the middle of the lanes and not the sidewalks as to create further congestion.
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