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· Subscribing Member
4,410 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A tourist visiting Los Angeles walked into a pet shop and was
looking at the animals on display.

While he was there, a Sgt. from LAPD walked in and said to the
shopkeeper, "I'll take a Patrol monkey, please."

The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the
shop and took out a monkey. He fit it with a collar and leash, handed it
to the LAPD Sgt., saying, "That'll be $1,000."

The Sgt. paid and walked out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said,
"That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred
dollars. Why did it cost so much?"

The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can fire Expert with
all small arms, write 20 tickets a month, and is certified in Small Unit
Tactics --- well worth the money!

The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's
even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"

"Oh, that one's a certified Deputy Sheriff monkey; it can instruct
other monkeys in Basic Firearms Skills, Counter
Terrorism Training, Physical Training, Small Unit Tactics and
investigative techniques, and even type. All the really useful stuff," said
the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third
monkey in a large cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read
$50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the
others put together! What on earth does it do?"

The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do
anything, but it says it's an FBI agent."

· Retired Fed, Active Special
8,899 Posts
oh my GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

I soiled myself. How much for the Secretary of Public Safety Monkey?
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