New legislation puts police impersonators to work | MassCops

New legislation puts police impersonators to work

Discussion in 'Whacker Central' started by masswannabee, Apr 1, 2013.

  1. masswannabee

    masswannabee MassCops Member

    The Irafuse Times
    MIAMI — More than 1,400 people are arrested and charged with impersonating a police officer every year, according to Florida Department of Justice statistics. And whereas some see a plague affecting public safety, one legislator sees opportunity.
    State Representative Lawson Shortchange has authored groundbreaking legislation that would mandate that police agencies employ imposters instead of incarcerating them. He believes the combination of high enthusiasm for law enforcement and low intellect makes these wannabes ideal for a wide range of police duties.
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    Before turning to politics, Shortchange had a 15-year career as a patrolman for a mid-sized Florida city.
    “Before I started writing laws, I enforced them,” Shortchange explained. “I know from experience that there are plenty of calls for service which don’t need much more law enforcement know-how than your average police imposter can’t handle.
    “Take two drunks fighting outside a bar, for instance. We don’t need an actual police officer getting in the way of that mess. Send a local-yokel wannabe and let him get all beat up. Hell, he can just stand there and watch until EMS arrives. That’s all I ever did on those calls.”
    State FOP President Owen Hardarse has enthusiastically endorsed the measure.
    Hardarse said that he would encourage all departments statewide to implement a modified version of Operation Cannon Fodder. That plan, which has been collecting dust since first conceived on April 1, 1968, stated that only rookies with citizen ridealongs be dispatched to “unknown trouble” calls.
    Hardarse growled, “If this legislation is passed, and we think it should be, the Cannon Fodder SOP would be immediately rewritten to put impersonators on at the tip of that particular spear.”
    Other possible jobs for police impersonators include Chief, Assistant Chief, and Deputy Chief.

  2. HuskyH-2

    HuskyH-2 G-Rap made me do it!

  3. Tuna

    Tuna Always entertained

    Love the last sentence
    frank likes this.
  4. niteowl1970

    niteowl1970 Moderator Staff Member

    Andrea Cabral and many others have impersonated a Sheriff for years and no legislation was ever proposed.
    Jeepy, Joel98, mtc and 8 others like this.
  5. HoneyBadger1

    HoneyBadger1 MassCops Member

    hahaha :D
  6. GuardTheGavel

    GuardTheGavel MassCops Member

  7. Mr Scribbles

    Mr Scribbles Mr

    Other possible jobs for police impersonators include Chief, Assistant Chief, and Deputy Chief.
    These positions can also be filled by your local papers Op-Ed Page
    Joel98, Hush and Dan Stark like this.
  8. Dan Stark

    Dan Stark Tears of a Clown


    We have a Lt. that impersonates.

    Sent from my XT907 using Tapatalk

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