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Lie back and think of OSH
New Zealand Herald

Prostitutes need to get beds with good back support and watch out for occupational overuse syndrome, says New Zealand's first safety guide for sex workers.

The 100-page Occupational Safety and Health guide to safe sex practices - introduced as a result of last year's prostitution reform legislation - has been launched on the Government organisation's website with the caution: "Warning: this document contains sexually explicit material".

The recommendations, which will also be distributed to brothels and sex workers, include detailed advice on safe sex practices such as the storage and handling of sex toys and disinfecting equipment.

Employers are asked to ensure condoms in a variety of shapes and sizes are always available, and to provide beds that support the back for a variety of services to be performed without strain or discomfort.

Comprehensive training of staff in the safe use of all equipment, particularly for fantasy work, is also recommended.

The guide warns sex workers to watch out for signs of overuse disorders, which occur among people who work in fixed or constrained postures, perform rapid repetitive tasks or use forceful movements.

Tips for sex workers who visit clients in their homes include noting as they approach whether the house is well lit, and to listen for indications of more than one person inside. They are advised to always get the payment first and keep the "money bag" in sight at all times.

They should always carry a work kit with such tools of the trade as lubricant, gloves and condoms.

The guide also recommends the sex workers carry a small torch to be used in the event of there being unsatisfactory lighting by which to examine a client for signs of sexually transmitted diseases, and to wash body areas with mild antiseptics after "trick sex".

Mike Cosman of OSH said the guide was developed in consultation with the Prostitutes Collective, industry representatives, ACC, the Ministry of Health, the Police and Local Government New Zealand.

Acting Director of Public Health Dr Douglas Lush said the guide would be a valuable resource for the sex industry to understand how to meet health and safety requirements.

Catherine Healy of the Prostitutes Collective said the guide was a historic advancement.

"This is something we couldn't develop before the change in legislation. Now we can offer a lot of practical advice that will support sex workers in working safely."


* Use beds with good back support so services "can be performed without strain or discomfort".

* Watch out for occupational overuse syndrome, often caused by rapid repetitive tasks or forceful movements.

* Carry a small torch in case you need to check clients for sexually transmitted diseases.

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you
need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We
hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for
dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to
have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled
in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through
your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your
share of the work is enough to keep the job going in your absence.
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two
weeks notice as it is your duty to train your replacement.
Entirely too much time is being spent in the rest room. In the
future,we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order.
For instance, those whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to
8:10, employees whose names being with 'B' will go from 8:10 to 8:20
and so on. If you're unable to go at your time, it will be necessary
to wait until the next day when your time comes again. In extreme
emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both
employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In
addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls.
At the end of three minutes, an alarm bell will sound, the toilet
paper roll will retract, and the stall door open.
The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees
better understand their paychecks:
Item Amount:
Gross pay $1,222.02
Income tax $244.40
Outgo tax $45.21
State tax $11.61
Interstate tax $61.10
County tax $6.11
City tax $12.22
Rural tax $4.44
Back tax $1.11
Front tax $1.16
Side tax $1.61
Up tax $2.22
Down tax $1.11
Tic-Tacs $1.98
Thumbtacks $3.93
Carpet tacks $0.98
Stadium tax $0.69
Flat tax $8.32
Surtax $3.46
Corporate tax $2.60
Parking fee $5.00
F.I.C.A. $81.88
T.G.I.F. Fund $9.95
Life insurance $5.85
Health insurance $16.23
Dental insurance $4.50
Mental insurance $4.33
Reassurance $0.11
Disability $2.50
Ability $0.25
Liability $3.41
Unreliability $10.99
Coffee $6.85
Coffee Cups $66.51
Floor rental $16.85
Chair rental $0.32
Desk rental $4.32
Union dues $5.85
Union don'ts $3.77
Cash advance $0.69
Cash retreats $121.35
Overtime $1.26
Undertime $54.83
Eastern time $9.00
Central time $8.00
Mountain time $7.00
Pacific time $6.00
Time Out $12.21
Oxygen $10.02
Water $16.54
Heat $51.42
Cool air $26.83
Hot air $20.00
Miscellaneous $113.29
Sundry $12.09
Various $8.01
Net Take Home Pay $0.02
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience. All questions, comments, concerns,
complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations, or input
should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week.
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