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I think, therefore I'll never be promoted.
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Dateline New Braintree; There are currently 5 separate investigations in progress at the MSP Academy involving unauthorized activities by recruits. Videos recently discovered by PUSS TV show scandalous actions by recruits and staff alike. One undated video shows a recruit making jokes about Morons. This joke is said to be totally offensive to morons everywhere and thus the recruit appears to be a biased bigot who has no place in law enforcement. Another video shows a recruit failing to wear shower shoes as he enters a shower area. His nudity is not shown, but his bare feet are clearly visible, thus the potential spread of fungus and life threatening germs. The third video has a potential Trooper scratching while at attention and his DI ignoring it. We've already demanded a written explanation of this dereliction of duty on the part of the DI. Another shows a recruit, 3 days before entering the Academy drinking a beer. Lastly, Several recruits are seen laughing at something an instructor said, though exactly what was said is unclear, it's probably another one of those terrible Moron jokes.
 
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