Funny thing your kids say.

I was on the phone with her pediatrician the second we walked out the office door. Horrified that some child services person was going to show up at my house to take her. Classic textbook child abuse. Her dr thank God knows me and laughed at me.

She could drive you mad lol. Believe me, this child talks to her toothbrush. She could honestly have a conversation with a stone. As the mister will confirm - she even talks in her sleep. When she was younger, no matter what was ailing her, I would tell her it was because she was taking in too much air from talking so much. It only bought me a few minutes of quiet - but it took her years to figure out that couldn't be possible.

 

Yeah, I got one of those.

 

You talk to it as well?

 

Took my 2 sons when they were younger to restaurant..its 5ish so its us and a bunch of senior citizens there for the early bird special....younger son, out of the clear blue sky asking innocently "so, ma, what this business about Mike Hunt?" of course it comes out during a lull when there is no noise, loud and clear as a bell...older sons' coke comes shooting out of his mouth, all over the table....necks are swiveling at a high rate of speed to see the bad mother who bred such a beast...young one has no clue and says..ma, why is your face so red..older is gasping for breath and its still silent...i get up, never make eye contact with anyone in the room and slink out to the bar to ask for the bill....

---------- Post added at 16:06 ---------- Previous post was at 16:02 ----------

younger one comes downstairs one morning "at attention" and announces, Ma, i have a magic weiner..

 

After dealing with assholes 9 hours a day five days a week,
I will talk to anything that doesn't talk back.:wink_smile:

 

They are always listening. Mrs. Mozz walks through the door and the few minutes we have together before the "changing of the guards", she tells me about her day. Ginabear looks at her and says, wow Mom, you have issues!
Same little angle says to her animal club, "shit, it's a pump day". She is a type 1 diabetic. I was not supposed to hear it, I pretended that I didn't. Lifes tough enough.

 

Four year old daughter comes out of TV room: "Mom, I gave Aaron (7 year old) a kiss and a hug!" -She is extremely huggy.

Aaron comes out of room, and deadpans: "Yeah... It was an awkward moment"

 

!!!!! this is my life too..only with 2 boys..i made the mistake of putting them both into Karate, which then gave them the skills to really hurt each other (not one of my smarter moves)...
on a good note your daughter will be a force to be reckoned with, which is a good thing these days ..she'll kick ass and not be afraid :running:

 

I am a big fan of that Brachial Stun.

 

Sitting in traffic today, Thing 1 (4.5 y/o) looks to the right and sees a side street with no cars going that way. He says, "daddy, there's a shortcut." I tell him that street doesn't go to our house. He replies in a Denzel-like manner, "daddy, do you want to sit in traffic all day or do you want to go home." I about drove off the road laughing so hard...

 

We take this stuff for granted sometimes, but in light of yet another cop being murdered, it makes me think. File it under "The unfunny/serious things yor kids say".

For a little over six months now, my two year old daughter, has taken to running a series of questions by me every time I get dressed for work. It's usually the same questions;

"Did you remember your flashlight?"
"Did you take your gun?"
"Are you wearing your jacket?" She calls my vest a "jacket".

She always ends the interrogation with "Daddy, be safe!"

As I was leaving to go to work yesterday, she went through her usual
questioning, but before she told me to be safe she just stopped to watch me holster my gun, looked at me and said "Don't kill anybody today."

It just blew my mind, and I thought that I might share it with you.

 

A few years ago at my son's kindegarten open house he was building a block house with another kid. The block house fell over and he says " That's OK brown kid, we can make another one". The kids father thought it was the funniest thing he ever heard. I however wanted to crawl under the desk.

 

My kids are grown now but when I was getting dressed to go on a detail he would say "more detail" Now that he is on the job and a father to be he told me the other day that he now understands "more detail. My other son's story is not so much what he said as what he did. When he was little the freddie kruger movies were big and I used to pretend I was freddy. Well at a day care father son day all the kids had drawn a picture of what they do with their daddys. Some of the kids had drawn My daddy takes me fishing bowling the movies you get it When I get to mine his says My daddy scares my and had drawn a freddie kruger. I wanted to crawl into a hole.:skull:

 

Your so right, when I asked him what color he is he said yellow (he's blond and fair skinned).The best part about it was that both of the boys had no idea what was so funny.

 

Tonight, my son (almost 3yo) asked me "Why are you watching the news?" I said "I like the news, don't you?"
- "No."
- "Why not?"
- "Because I'm young."

Ouch. LOL!

 

My toddler just entered that phase where she talks constantly, I really don't know how she breaths, but tonight my husband was correcting her about something and out of the blue she replies, "No Daddy, Momma's smarter than you are," which is true:tongue:, but hilarious when it comes right from the mouth of babes.

 

Folks who are on my FB already saw this, but it deserves repeating:

 

When I'm getting ready to leave for work, my daughter always punches me in the chest to make sure I'm wearing my vest (and then complains it hurt because she hits the steel ballistic plate).

 

Well said, mtc.

 

Thank God she's not delivering a kick checking for a cup and you forgot to suit up!

 

Wakin' people up! What's the matter with you?:wink_smile:

 

Thing 1 is playing with his little buddy over the house the other day when his buddy gets a boo-boo from rough-housing.

Thing 1 says, "That boo-boo gives you the CDI Effect."
Buddy says, "What's that?"
Thing 1 says, "Chicks Dig It. The more boo-boos you get, the more chicks you get. Duh!"

 

Ah the CDI effect; goes with the CDS mantra. Even Deuce Jr. knows chicks dig scars..