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Alien Member
17,557 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Like, A Totally California State Residency Application...

(Feel free to use popular nicknames, such as "Moon Beam", "Dweezil",
"Moon Unit" "Capt. Trips", etc.)
Age: _____________

Inner Child's Age: _______

Age in Dog Years: _______

Age as told to you in a vision by ancient Mayan calendar: ________

_____ M _____ F

_____ Hermaphrodite

_____ Still working it out in therapy

Footwear: ____ Birkenstocks ____ Barefoot
Condition of Feet:

____ Wash Daily ____ Wash Weekly

____ Like, whenever I get to
the beach, man...
___ Massage Therapist
___ Astral Counsel
___ Pet Psychologist
___ Channeler of the Dead (real dead, not
merely Grateful)
___ Follower of the Dead, (Grateful)
___ Tie-dye vendor at Dead Shows
___ Vendor of "nice hot, fresh veggie
burritos" at concerts
___ Cooking up a scheme to channel Jerry
___ Assistant to Shirley MacLaine
___ Rent-A-Mob protester
___ Purveyor of Fine Herbal Remedies
___ Panhandler claiming to be a veteran
___ Professional Guest on Ricki Lake
___ LA rock star groupie
___ Bottom-feeding LA lawyer
___ Professional Emotional Victim

Name(s) of Significant Other(s): ________________________________
Relationship(s) of Significant Other(s):

____ Astral Soulmate

____ One-night stand from the protest rally who stayed because the
was cheap

____ My dog's massage therapist

____ "Just Friends"

____ They're really not that significant, but I'll try to claim them
tax deduction(s)

Number of Children in Commune: _____

Number of Inner Children In Commune: _____
Number of your Inner Children which have been molested by one of

Roseanne's multiple personalities: ____

Mother's Name: ____________________ Father's Name: ____________________

Where were you were conceived:

____ Woodstock

____ Monterey

____ Under the stars on in the commune's
hot tub

____ In the back of a VW micro-bus on the
way to a Dead show
Name of book exposing your parents as inner-child abusers:

Number of copies sold: ____

Number of Wind Chimes Owned: ____
Number of times you've given yourself a concussion by hitting head on
wind chimes: ___

Number of time you've channeled dead space aliens: ____

Number of times a space alien has copped a feel off you: ____
Talk Shows on Which You Make a Regular Appearance:

____ Donahue ____ Ricki Lake ____ Geraldo ____ Sally Jesse
____ The morning news' surf report

Number of times you've eaten your surfboard: ____

Above, while still in parking lot after tripping on your sandals: ____

Number of Grateful Dead concerts attended: ____ (if all, enter "on

Number of bongs you own: ____
Number of times you've drunk your bong water because the weed ran out:

Political Party Affiliation: (Choose as many as you have

____ Green Party
____ American Communist
____ Socialist Party
____ New Age Astral Party (channeling the spirits of dead Romans)
____ Hemp Party
____ The Party-Hearty Party ____ Inner Child Abuse
Hotline Party
____ New Age Goddess Party

How far is your home from the waterline:
___ Miles
___ Yards
___ Feet
___ I like to wake up with sand in my nose and seaweed in my teeth, in
true harmony with nature as it washes up my nose

Number of surfboards owned: ____
Number of seconds you can talk without using the words "totally",

"like", "man" and "fer shure": ____ (enter, like 0, if you, like,
totally don't know)

LOL @ I like to wake up with sand in my nose and seaweed in my teeth, in
true harmony with nature as it washes up my nose

i must make a note to visit California they sound so laid back LOL
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