MassCops - Massachusetts Law Enforcement Network, A Mass Police Web Portal

Massachusetts Law Enforcement Network

Massachusetts Police News, Information and Discussions on MassCops

Pages: 1

Main Page The best lines from Suspects
(Click here to view the original thread on the MassCops Message Board)

Posted by: drknyt

Probably one of the best lines I ever heard from an OUI driver. Was when asked what happened that caused the damage to his car, he looked at me and said " To tell you the truth officer I'm to F****** drunk to remember.

Posted by: masstoazcop

arrested a 19 yr old for poss. 14.6 grams of cocaine and during the interview he said he had found it in a parking lot while working.

Posted by: RPD931

Me: "So how many beers did you have tonight?"

OUI Guy: "Oh, about 6 or 7. I was at poker night at a friends house in (another town)"

I then asked him to step out of the vehicle with the intent to offer SFST. As I watched him get out, he got out and faced the car, put his hands behind his back. I asked "What are you doing?", he replied "you might as well just arrest me now". "Do you want to take the Field Sobriety tests?".. he said "No, I'll fail, so you might as well just arrest me".

His wish was my command

Posted by: JoninNH

Quote:

Originally Posted by RPD931";p=&quot

Me: "So how many beers did you have tonight?"

OUI Guy: "Oh, about 6 or 7. I was at poker night at a friends house in (another town)"

I then asked him to step out of the vehicle with the intent to offer SFST. As I watched him get out, he got out and faced the car, put his hands behind his back. I asked "What are you doing?", he replied "you might as well just arrest me now". "Do you want to take the Field Sobriety tests?".. he said "No, I'll fail, so you might as well just arrest me".

His wish was my command

I've heard of a similar incident where a subject refused to take a FST and then plead not guilty to OUI later on, claiming he could have passed the FST... even though he blew nearly twice the limit.

He was pretty shocked when he was found guilty.

Posted by: Cinderella

I am a little hard of hearing so you can understand why I didn't see the cyclist.

Posted by: Barbrady

This one is from funniest police videos. Driver claims he cannot take field sobriety because he has a glass eye. When the officer asks, "Which eye?" the driver say's "both of them".

Posted by: frapmpd24

During a well being check of a very intoxicated female who is one of our regulars:

"Are there any friends or relatives who you can stay with for the night?"

"Yeah... my cat" (Who died two days before).

Posted by: JoninNH

Officer: "The bartender's called you a cab to take you home."
Drunk: "I ain't got no money."
Officer: "Is there anyone with you who can drive you home?"
Drunk: "Yeah, my cousin Tim."
Officer: "Okay, why don't you go get him and bring him over here."
Drunk: "Can I have my keys back."
Officer: "No, Tim's going to drive you home."
Drunk: "I know that asshole; I have to go to Nashua to pick him up."

---

"How much have you had to drink tonight?"
"One beer,"
"Thats it?"
"Yeah, but I smoked a little earlier."
"Smoked a little what?"
"You know, I *smoked*... you know... a little recreational stuff thats all."
As he's being arrested... "Why are you arresting me officer, I'm not drunk!"

---

My favorite episode of COPS is when the trooper(?) pulls over a OUI driver and asks if he's done any drugs today and he keeps saying no... then the camera zooms into his ear and the officer pulls off a blunt from behind his ear. Subjects response: "Oooh. I didn't know."

---

Posted by: chowder

While booking a drunk for PC and doing an invatory of his property perscription bottle was found. The drunk then says they are his heart bills and he needed to take one. We then asked him if he ussually takes them with alcohol and the drunk replied "no ussualy a glass of water and a asprin"

Posted by: stm4710

One of my all time favorites from cops tv was:
Officer: Sir are you a transiet?
Drunk: No sir, I am an american!!!!!!!!!

Or when ever drugs are found in the vehicle" I got it from some guy".

Posted by: shark1

Stop a car and ask the driver for his license and he said to me "I dont have a license, I wasnt driving he was" as he was pointing to the passenger!

Posted by: Delta784

At the scene of an accident, I recently arrested a third-offense OUI, who was blasted up to the ozone on both booze and drugs. I was escorting him to the cruiser.

Suspect - "Be careful with my watch, it's a Rolex".

Me - "You're a junkie with a Rolex, congratulations".

Suspect - "I'm not a junkie, I'm on prescription drugs, and I'm drunk".

Thanks very much, the ADA will love that one!

Posted by: SinePari

"Who's weed is this?"

"Not mine."

"Well, it was in your pants..."

"These aren't my pants."

"Well, if we find out who dressed you this morning, we'll find who the weed belongs to!"

-click-click- "Have a seat."

Posted by: Pvt. Cowboy

[quote=SinePari]

"Well, if we find out who dressed you this morning, we'll find who the weed belongs to!"

QUOTE]

That has to be one of the BEST comebacks I've heard... Kudos to you for coming up with that one...

Posted by: justcardio

Stopped a male for speeding, the operator of the Corvette states "Hey man, I have been driving this road longer than you have been alive". I respond "So, you must know the speed limit really well...here is you citation".

Posted by: no$.10

Responding to a one car mva, the elderly gentlman, who had drive over a traffic island and gotten hung up on a yield sign after wards, was asked to participate in FST,
Old guy: "What, you think I'm drunk?"
Me: "Sir, it's 0300 and you've driven clear over a traffic island..."
Old Guy: "I know, my car keeps doing this to me."

I bet.

Posted by: K9Vinny

A former sergeant of mine tells this story. While patrolling the back roads, a lover's lane type area, he came across a car parked alongside the road. The lights were off, the car was running and the windows were all fogged up. The car was rocking. Concerned for the safety of any possible victims, i.e, a rape in progress, he approached the window and saw a man and a woman doing the mommy-daddy dance in the back seat. The man was on top of the woman and going to town. The sergeant knocked on the window. They guy didn't miss a beat, he kept on humping, held up his first finger and said, "I'll be with you in a minute".

Posted by: Pacman

This one happened to me a few years ago. While enroute to the fourth alarm at Home Depot that night. I hear an officer (a very close friend) call in that he is clear a signal to his house and that he is returning to his sector. (downtown) While still holding the mic, I, and everyone else in scanner land hear the following.... Oh shit! hang on Dave (a new recruit) and in the background we hear "Here comes the pain!" Then a loud crash, my friend making an Ugh! sound and then the mic went dead.

I happened to be around the bend in the road and immediatly volunteered to find out what happened. As I arrived I see two cops staggering around, an elderly couple standing next to them trying to walk them to the sidewalk, and a brown four door sedan with it's passenger side jammed up against a massive oak tree's trunk.

I check on the officers first (Of course) and find them both dazed, Dave (the recruit) has his glasses busted and smashed against his face. Both are no longer fans of the airbags. They are able to quickly relate that the brown sedan had attempted to turn left as they were traveling straight in the opposite direction. The sedan hit them head on at about 45 miles an hour.

After getting them medical attention, I walk over to the sedan. Inside the sedan I see the operator with seatbelt on, changing the radio station and then holding the wheel as if he was still traveling down the road. I then knock on the drivers window and the operator looked at me as if to say, why are you running along side my vehicle??? He rolls the window down and says............

Why are you stopping me??? I wasn't speeding!!! After a brief chuckle, I point to his passenger seat. He stops talking, turns to the seat and then looks skyward following the bark of the tree up from the seat through the roof and into the sky and says..............

How did that get there???

P.S. he got found not guilty as he was the sole provider for his mother who was bed ridden and crippled. Oh well.

Posted by: JFSMSP

Me: How many drinks did you have tonight?
Him: I had two heinekens but then I smoked so now I'm straight.
Me: What do you mean now you're straight?
Him: You know I smoked a lil weed so now I'm straight
Oh that makes perfect sense then....thank you

Posted by: Irish Wampanoag

I once pulled over a young girl for running a stop sign almost hitting my cruiser. I told her I am stopping her because you ran the stop sign, as I am ask her for her license and registration I see a cell phone to her right ear still talking. She then says officer I didnt see the stop sign because I was talking on the cell phone. I returned with a citation and said "Can you hear me now have a nice day"

Posted by: USMCTrooper

A flare pattern...........

An arrow board.............

Cones...............

Two cruisers blocking ramp..........

Broad daylight, afternoon.................

Myself and another Trooper standing outside of our cruisers..............

"Officer, is the ramp closed or can I get through?"

Posted by: Delta784

When executing a search warrant, my partner is searching one of the occupants. Right hand jacket pocket contains a bag with over 100 rocks of crack.

"Officer, that ain't mine".

Okay.

My partner just starts reaching into the left hand pocket.

"The stuff in there ain't mine neither".

Posted by: JoninNH

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish Wampanoag

I returned with a citation and said "Can you hear me now have a nice day"

Nice one!!

Posted by: rg1283

http://funstufftosee.com/funstuff/worstjob.wmv

Can you hear me now video.

Everyone has Cellphones now, even the elderly.

Posted by: NorwichAlum

I had a guy roll up looking for directions while I was on a traffic stop. I had him pull to the side of the road and wait until I finished. When I went to talk to him he gave me this odd story about how he was trying to get to B.C. When I asked him to explain again, he said, "Dude, let me tell you, I'm all fucked up on shrooms right now." After his long story I asked him if there were any drugs in the car, he told me, "Yeah I've got a bong in the back, you can search the car if you want."

Once I took him out of the car, he said, "I've got some weed by my ballbag." Then he started shaking his legs to shake the weed down onto the ground.

Needless to say, that turned into an arrest.

Posted by: Curious EMT

Quote:

Originally Posted by NorwichAlum

"Dude, let me tell you, I'm all fucked up on shrooms right now." "Yeah I've got a bong in the back, you can search the car if you want." "I've got some weed by my ballbag.

Sorta like that You Drink You Drive You Loose commercial
"Officer, I'm in no shape to drive...
"Officer, I'va had a few too many....

Posted by: 94c

"Why aren't you's guys harrassing real criminals?"

Posted by: NorwichAlum

Quote:

Originally Posted by 94c

"Why aren't you's guys harrassing real criminals?"

That reminded me of this one from an OUI arrest:

"Sir, there are rapists and murders out on the streets. Why are you ruining my life?"

Posted by: LawMan4525

My best...

Subject shoplifted $300 worth of product and security stopped him. He thought it was a lot less. So my partner and I get the copy of the receipt and take a look, we ask "So, How much do you think you took?"...Thsi is of course after rights are read and proper procedure for an arrest..."Oh I say about $150 worth, nothing to get in a fuss about." So I say, "Try again." Suspect: "What do you mean?" Me: "Try $300 worth of frozen shrimp, idiot." So he stands up in cuffs and yells..."WHAT??? That stuff was on sale!"

Posted by: JoninNH

Quote:

Originally Posted by LawMan4525

My best...

Subject shoplifted $300 worth of product and security stopped him. He thought it was a lot less. So my partner and I get the copy of the receipt and take a look, we ask "So, How much do you think you took?"...Thsi is of course after rights are read and proper procedure for an arrest..."Oh I say about $150 worth, nothing to get in a fuss about." So I say, "Try again." Suspect: "What do you mean?" Me: "Try $300 worth of frozen shrimp, idiot." So he stands up in cuffs and yells..."WHAT??? That stuff was on sale!"

Shit, that's funny!

Posted by: ds13

I was in a probable cause hearing with the clerk magistrate for a summons that I had filed for some minor vandalism incident. The suspect's excuse, "I am really a good person normally, I was just too screwed up on crack. Really, I just can't help it, I get all crazy and can do anything. I am asking for leniency because the crack is doing these things, not me." When asked by the clerk if he had a substance abuse problem, he obviously answered, "No, I don't think so."

Posted by: frapmpd24

While heading back into town on one of those roads that connects the outskirts of town a car runs a stop sign and cuts out in front of me leaving a complex which is several hundred feet over the town line. As luck would have it, the typical masshole driver heads in the right direction (into my town).

Obviously he does not see me and accelerates at a high rate of speed through a residential section of the road, gets to a straight away and "off to the races!". Stop the young fella and have a short, yet comical interaction.

Me: "Did you see me behind you?"
Driver: "No, I didn't (sad look)"
Me: "How fast do you think you were going?"
Driver: "Uh, 50?"
Me: "Nope, try 56. It's a 35 zone"
Driver: (Look of pain)
Me: "Where were you going so fast?"
Driver: "To get CHIPS"

Now that is inflation...the cost of the bag of chips for him is now about $212.00.

Posted by: no$.10

Quote:

Originally Posted by 94c

"Why aren't you's guys harrassing real criminals?"

My standard answer: "Because I'm tied up with you right now."

Posted by: RPD931

Crazy Lady: "you're an fucking asshole"

Me: "I know, and you're the pain in mine."

Crazy Lady: "pain in your what??"

Me: "a pain in my FUCKING ASShole"

Posted by: CapeCodPolice

While booking an IP prisoner the Sgt. told an officer to "just get one head shot" referring to a booking photo... the prisoner nervously starts laughing as he's led to the photo room and states, "you're not really going to punch me in the head, are you?".

Posted by: Pacman

I stopped two cars after running a red light one night. Six cars actually went through the light. I stopped numbers 5 & 6.

I walk up to the First vehicle (#6) the driver says "Ofc. I'm so sorry I was changing the station on the radio, I didn't see the light". Result warning.

I go to the second car (#5), and the guy, older gent in a nice tux - with a wife in a full length fur, says

"Why did you only stop us and not the cars in front of us?"
My reply was, "have you ever gone fishing?"
He looks at me like i've got five heads and says "what?"
I repeat "have you ever gone fishing?"
He replies "of course".
I then said "well when you caught the fish did you catch them all, or one at a time?"
His reply "just give me my ticket" Result money fine.

Posted by: NorwichAlum

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pacman

"well when you caught the fish did you catch them all, or one at a time?"

That belongs under best lines from PO's!

Posted by: misshotcopbluepants

Seen on COPS, PO's chasing a suspect who ran & hid in dumpster. PO's find suspect in the dumpster and ask him why he ran, he says he did not he was just there. When asked what he was doing in the dumpster, suspect says, "Nothing, just chillin"
New teenage thrill? Chillin' in the dumpster??

Posted by: gunthor

I observed a minor rear end accident and pulled my cruiser in behind to make sure no one was hurt and to help them exchange paper work. As I am standing there I see that the driver in the rear car had received a parking ticket earlier ( which was still attached to he wiper blade).

Me: Your not having a good day are you.

Operator: ( slurs)No Officer I'm having a terrible day!

Me: Have you been drinking?

Operator: Just a couple.

Me: Would you mind submitting to a few sobriety tests?

Operator: Officer that won't be necessary because I'm shit faced.

It don't get any easier..

Posted by: chief801

Downtown businesses were getting nailed with B&E's. Finally get some information that leads me to a local idiot, who happened to live right off of Main Street. Brought him in for questioning and it went something like this:

Me: Well Randy, you do realize that if was you committing the breaks, I WILL find out. I'm just waiting to see if the prints lifted match yours, and you know we have your's on file...
Randy: Ain't know way those prints is mine! I had muthafuckin gloves on biatch!
Me: Thanks Randy!
Randy: Fo wut?
Me: For being stupid...Click, Click

Posted by: trigger409

9 years ago, when i first got on full time, I stopped a guy for what i thought was an OUI and when stopped, he proceeded to say he didnt have any drugs on him. after several rounds of me trying to explain why i was stopping him he asked if i wanted to check his ass for drugs. I replied "no" and he then turned around on the seat and stuck his bare ass out the window and spread his cheeks. At this point my partner was laughing so hard he went back toward the cruiser. After calming him down and getting him to get pull his pants up, i find out the rear axel of the car was bent and was causing the car to swerve down the road. I let him go due to the fact that i was too dumbfounded at the whole incident. if it happened now i might have let my dog loose or pepper sprayed the exposed area.

Posted by: JoninNH

Quote:

Originally Posted by trigger409

I let him go due to the fact that i was too dumbfounded at the whole incident. if it happened now i might have let my dog loose or pepper sprayed the exposed area.

What a flaming asshole!

Posted by: 78thrifleman

I responded to an accident on 128 south and I was informing onr of the drivers that the other operator was at fault. As I was walking back to my cruiser, I passed the other vehicle. The operator was on her cell phone and she yelled out the windw, "Excuse me, but I heard what you just said, and I'm on the phone with my friend who's a cop and he says Im not at fault." I guess my opinion wasn't good enough... she had to get the police involved.

Posted by: FIVE-OH

So I obviously have too much downtime at the house and felt i should chime in with what one of our officers had to deal with as hes removing beer from a pickup truck being operated by a minor:
Driver: Hey you cant take that!
Officer: What do you mean I cant take that, you arent 21
Driver: My uncles a lawyer and I know you cant take that(important to note that the booze was in plain view)
Officer: Your uncles a lawyer huh? Well my uncles an astronaut but ya dont see me on the moon!

Posted by: FIVE-OH

And one more:
As were takin a drunk into custody for 2nd offense OUI.
Officer: so how many beers did you have tonight?
Drunk: only two (standard answer i know)
Officer: only 2? Jeez how big were they?
Drunk: Ever been to the Outback Restaurant and had the big ones?
Officer: Sure, why?
Drunk: as he lets out a chuckle "cause they were bigger than that"

Posted by: GARDA

Erratic Operator/OUI candidate:

Officer: Okay, how many have you had tonight?
Drunk: I dunno, boys count 'em...men drink 'em!

Click, click.

Posted by: Blueflu1

a few i can remember, although I know I have had better ones.

Stopped a woman for running a stop sign. She stated "But I slowed down and looked!". In a very sarcastic voice, I said, "But it wasn't a slow down and look sign".

Stopped an OUI one night. I asked him if he felt he had too much to drink to drive. He stated "Of course, Im F-ing wasted!".

I came across a fatal one night on Rt. 2. The passenger was doing the death gurgle and the driver unconscious. When I finally got the operator to come too, he started yelling to me "I wasn't driving". I told him to not worry about that now, to talk to his friend who was dying. He then stated to me "Don't worry about him, he is sleeping. I wasnt driving!".

Posted by: j809

Robbie, you don't work nights.

Posted by: daveh

Him: "I am not drunk; I mean I am not drunk."

Partner: (Looking down and pointing at his crotch) "Dude, you just pissed yourself."

Him: "Ohhhhhh Sh%t!"

Me: "I'm not cuffing him; you do it."

Another One--------------------------------------------------------

Me: "Sir, do you have any weapons or needles in you pocket; ones that I might stick myself with?"

Him: "Oh, absolutely officer, but it is not in my pocket."

Posted by: CJIS

This happened a while ago, but it went down something like this.

2 Saw horses with, road closed sign blocking the street.

Me and an officer behind the sawhorses.

1 Cruiser behind us.

1 Fire truck behind the cruiser.

2 large fire hoses running across the street behind the fire truck.

1 stupid driver.

Driver: Is the road closed?
Me: Yes
Driver: Is there a fire?
Me: Yes
Driver: Is it big?
Me: Yes
Driver: Is everyone ok?
Me: Yes
Driver: Am I able to get through?
Me: (losing patience) No. unless you your car has wings.

The person finally go the hint after that.

Posted by: frank dreban

Theres this guy who has been huffing paint for 20 years. His brain is mush. He says he huffs paint to quit smoking cigarettes.

Posted by: Bravo2-7

Classic from a week ago. Had a PC who was making his phone call, he called his mother and said " hi I'm standing next to some creepy gay guy" (he was refering to my Sgt.). Kid said nothing about being in the station at all during the entire phone call.

Posted by: honor12900

Had a guy in the jail for 3 days who told me the reason he was in jail was because 3 state troopers were living in his attick and kidnapped his mother and he was'nt really in jail anyway it was just a realistic movie.

Posted by: Curious EMT

Quote:

Originally Posted by honor12900

Had a guy in the jail for 3 days who told me the reason he was in jail was because 3 state troopers were living in his attick and kidnapped his mother and he was'nt really in jail anyway it was just a realistic movie.

Attick Trooper: Is that like trunk-monkey? When your girlfriend gets disorderly, push the little button and they swoop her away for the night?

As heard on a booking video from recent arrest: The line was white, not yellow. Im allowed to cross them... (Male who was observed to be driving half on the sidewalk, half in the road. Oui -3rd. 3rd refusal. As they say in Japan "Long time - no drivey!"

Posted by: Edmizer1

I got called to 1 car OUI crash and found a car with some blown out tires from hitting a curb. The driver was still inside and unhurt, but very drunk. There was a 1/2 full beer bottle in a cup holder. I asked the guy to get out of the car and he told me to wait a minute. He then picked up the beer and drank the whole thing in front of me. He then got out and said he was ready to do FSTs. The guy ended up being terminally ill with less than a year to live - he basically didn't care.

Posted by: splewis1977

After arresting the same male 5 or 6 times for trespassing and posession in the same project

Me: Dan, how many time do i gotta lock you up before you get the point.

Him: It's not my fault man, my parents were assholes and I am too.

Posted by: sammy269

Working a detail w/ a lane closure and a gradall digging a hole for a water main. A vehicle comes right at me, goes around the arrow board, inside the cones and continues to march. I start waving my arms and yelling before she glances off the gradeall and goes into the hole. I check on her and we get her out of the car, and onto solid ground. I ask her why she did'nt stop. She said that she could not see my hands waving, and that if I was wearing white gloves, she could have see my hands. I look at her with the WTF look, and come out w/: Lady, you went around an arrow board, numerous cones, I am 6-ft tall wearing an orange raincoat, the gradall is 14 ft tall and 9 ft wide, weighs 10 tons and painted flourescent yellow, and you didn't see any of that, but could see 6" white gloves? I don't think so..... Immediate threat filed and rejected by the RMV.

Posted by: sammy269

Heres another:
Guy goes rolling through a Stop sign at a busy intersection w/o stopping. I pull him over and inform him as to why he is being stopped. He said, "I slowed down, so its the same thing."
I then informed him that if I was beating on his head w/ a hammer, would he like me to stop or slow down, since it was the same thing? He obviously did not have a sense of humor.

Posted by: alphadog1

Stopped a guy for a traffic violation. Upon observing an open container in his vehicle, he was asked to step out from the vehicle. He said, "Hey I know my rights! I took business law in college." I then informed him that he will now learn about criminal law as I was placing the handcuffs on him for OUI.

Posted by: Mongo

None of them ever say anything to me?

Posted by: justanotherparatrooper

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mongo

None of them ever say anything to me?

must be your winning personality brother

Posted by: djgj200

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammy269

Heres another:
Guy goes rolling through a Stop sign at a busy intersection w/o stopping. I pull him over and inform him as to why he is being stopped. He said, "I slowed down, so its the same thing."
I then informed him that if I was beating on his head w/ a hammer, would he like me to stop or slow down, since it was the same thing? He obviously did not have a sense of humor.

I heard that before as part of a joke. I thought it was hilarious when I first heard it. Only the joke was about some Officer in ME stopping a Senator at 1:30 in the morning and the Officer used his baton instead of a hammer. Still funny as hell.

Posted by: Mongo

Quote:

Originally Posted by justanotherparatrooper

must be your winning personality brother

Thank you. I was thinking that as well.

DEATH FROM ABOVE!!!!

Posted by: jettsixx

One of our guys stopped a car for speeding turns out the driver is drunk so I arrive to assist with the FSTs. After we determine that he is OUI he tells us "You cant arrest me....Its my birthday." So I tell him Oh ,well in that case happy birthday now turn around and put you hands on the hood of the car.

Posted by: 193

Testimony in trial:
Defense attorney: Officer you testified you could see the suspect narcotic transaction, using no visual aids at approximately 50-60 feet away. Is that correct.

Officer: Yes, that is correct.

Defense Attorney: (Walk to the end of the court room) Officer, Am I approximately 50-60 feet away from you?

Officer: Yes.

Defense Attorney: I have one question for you officer. If you claim you observed these transactions 50 -60 feet away. How far can you see with your human eye using no visual aids?

Officer: Well, I know I can see the moon!!!! (CLASSIC!!!)

Posted by: dave7336

Quote:

Originally Posted by djgj200

Come on now...what Senator would be out at 1:30 in the morning driving a car? The bar is still open for another 1/2 hour.

Posted by: nevrehc

Hey I take pics of police cars, you can't cite me.

Posted by: MM1799

Quote:

Originally Posted by nevrehc

Hey I take pics of police cars, you can't cite me.

Posted by: kttref

It's not the best line, but it's a true response...one of my first car stops (I'll never forget)

Me: "Who is this car registered to?"
Lady: "My brother, King Peacemaker."

He had "King Peacemaker" written on the car...dude really did own it...

Posted by: motown22

I stopped a lttle old grey haired lady for doing 51 in a 25...I ask her

"Ma'am do you know how fast you were driving?"
"NO! AND I DON'T FUCKING CARE!"

at that point I returned to my cruiser and burst into tears laughing...it was friggin' priceless!

Posted by: DodgeRam

after rolling up on a disgusting prostitute and a young guy in an office park behind a hotel: "we're just talkin..."

Posted by: jettsixx

I stopped a car one day with an 83 yo woman driving.

Me: do you know you were driving 57mph in a 35 zone
Her: well sometimes my car just goes faster on its own.
Me: really when does this happen.
Her: Usually when I am going down a hill
Me: That big pedal on the left, If you press it down it will slow down.

Old people scare me sometimes.

Posted by: rocksy1826

heard it said to a cop on a call for an assault & battery

the assailant: "you can't arrest me! I'm a harvard student!"

Posted by: ds13

Stopped a guy for 50 in a 30.

Me: Sir I stopped you for speeding, 50 in a 30 mph zone.
Operator: Um, Officer, this gas pedal has a mind of it's own.
Me: That's odd, so does my pen.

Brought the heat obviously.

Posted by: 94c

Some drunks can be honest.

Years ago I get dispatched to a hit and run, auto vs. house at 3 a.m.

While enroute, I observe a car traveling in my direction at about 10 MPH. There is smoke everywhere and the hood is opened right to the windshield. The driver is driving with his head out the window so he can see.

I pull a u-turn and in the engine compartment are house shingles.

Me: Where are you coming from?
College Student: I'm drunk and I just hit a house.

Posted by: Danman

hahha

Posted by: honor12900

Me: Where are you coming from?
College Student: I'm drunk and I just hit a house.[/quote]

Thats great

Posted by: MM1799

After pulling over a blacked-out crown vic for following an ambulance to closely while it was responding to an emergency..

Me: why were you tailgating the ambulance?
Driver: I was protecting it
Me: from what?
Driver: Those people that follow it and pass everyone. They are dangerous.
Me: Aren't you one of them?
Driver: No.. i'm not following it to pass people, i'm assisting.

I wonder if he sets up a perimeter when the FD responds?

Posted by: SinePari

Girl: "I thought you guys didn't give pretty girls tickets?"

Officer: "You're right, they don't. Here you go. Pay or appeal in 20 days."

Posted by: Sniper

The other night I used the "handcuffs are new and just need to be broken in" one....... CLASSIC.

Posted by: honor12900

Quote:

Originally Posted by MM1799

After pulling over a blacked-out crown vic for following an ambulance to closely while it was responding to an emergency..

Me: why were you tailgating the ambulance?
Driver: I was protecting it
Me: from what?
Driver: Those people that follow it and pass everyone. They are dangerous.
Me: Aren't you one of them?
Driver: No.. i'm not following it to pass people, i'm assisting.

I wonder if he sets up a perimeter when the FD responds?

Who was this clown and what was the gig?

Posted by: MM1799

Quote:

Originally Posted by honor12900

Who was this clown and what was the gig?

Some idiot... who knows.

He received a verbal warning. It was his lucky, lucky day.
It was desk & 3 and one of the trooper was at the barracks doing a report. So as I am stepping into my cruiser, the other trooper on the road radios that he needs another cruiser -- OUI, drunk friend, irrate girlfriend + single Trooper = bad situation.

I gave this clown his lic/reg back and told basically to cut the shit. Then went back into my cruiser and headed for the other trooper. Of course as I am driving, I can see the original clown following me, as ways back..whatever. I'll see him again, I promise.

To finish the story: Trooper and I were fine. OUI arrested including A&B PO, drunk friend hit his head on the cruiser and then fell very hard onto the snow/ice bank.. and girlfriend had a very long stay at the barracks for threatening us with a dirty needle.. Ridiculous night to say the least.

Posted by: TUPD817

Couple of quick things...
1. Officer asks for license and driver shows Debit Card and argues its his license.

2. Speeder thats a suspended operator, be nice and have someone come pick up the car because they live close...sure enough that person's license is suspended...

ma police, boston ma police, massachusetts police, massachusetts police, mass state police, mass police, ma, mass, massachusetts, massachusetts, massachutes, massachusetts law, massachusetts polece, police, officer, police officer, cops, police gear, law enforcement, police duty gear, state police, sheriff, law, police supply, police agency directory, police agency, police department, traffic officer, police dept, state trooper, dispatcher, massachusetts county sheriff, massachusetts sheriff, massachusetts department of corrections, ma doc, doc, dept of corrections, police information, civil service, ma civil service, massachusetts crime, police training, police academy, ma police academy, massachusetts officers, masscop, masscops, mpa, bpa, ibpoa, police association, massachusetts police news, massachusetts crime news, mass most wanted, police career information, police patrol, police administration, police books, crime scene training, police discussion, crime discussions, cops

About MassCops, the home for Massachusetts law enforcement.

The Massachusetts Law Enforcement Network opened in 1998 and is now a part of the New England Police Network The site is a pro-police discussion forum intended for sworn police officers and civilian law enforcement officials as well as those interested in pursuing a career in law enforcement here in Massachusetts.

The goal of The Massachusetts Law Enforcement Network is to provide an informal network of law enforcement officials here in Massachusetts for educational and informational purposes.

The forum covers many topics such as Police Related News Articles, Agency & Profession Discussions, Police Training as well as Law Enforcement Career Information.

The Massachusetts Law Enforcement Network and The New England Police Network (NEPN) and it's network sites are privately owned websites/domains and are not affiliated with or endorsed by any government association or agency.

MassCops (masscops.com) and (masscop.com) are privately owned are not affiliated with or endorsed by the Massachusetts Coalition of Police (masscop.org)

3 4 5 6 7 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 49 50 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108