By Mike Wasilewski & Althea Olson, LCSW The client walks into the therapist’s office, sits down, and takes off the sunglasses that were hiding tear-reddened eyes from the others in the waiting room. Pulling a Kleenex from the box she allows her pain to come out as she begins to talk about the events of the past week. The story she tells is one the therapist has heard many times and begins four months ago after the client’s husband had an affair with a coworker. Soon after it was discovered he moved out of their home, leaving behind his wife of fifteen years and four children, to move in with his new girlfriend and the girlfriend’s two kids. The difference in this story is that client’s husband is a cop.
As in any separation new stressors were introduced into their relationship. Before the separation finances had never been a concern. He provided adequately for the family which enabled her to be a stay-at-home-mom for the last ten years. Now he is financially supporting two families and she knows it is only a matter of time before she has to put the house, which she can no longer afford, on the market. Her husband no longer shares in the day-to-day parenting of their kids and has become a “weekend dad.” Her husband has recently isolated himself from family and friends and has begun drinking excessively. The caring and loving husband she once knew has left her life. Neither of them has filed for divorce since neither can afford an attorney.
This brings us to four days ago. He had come over to discuss finances and child visitation and they started to argue. This was not new, they had argued many times since he left, but this time was different. This time harsh words became shouted words, and then he shoved her. They continued arguing more angrily, more harsh words were exchanged, and then he punched her. As she held their baby he made a fist and punched her in the kidneys. Her knees collapsed and she crumpled to the floor, clutching her baby tightly to her chest. As she fought the blinding pain, she heard her husband storm through the house, out the front door to return to his girlfriend’s home. It was the one and only instance of domestic violence between them.
wait and see what happens when she gets half his pention
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