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Main Page "Police, this line is recorded"
(Click here to view the original thread on the MassCops Message Board)

Posted by: mpd61

Oh I'm sorry, Is school open today?/ are there classes today? / do I have to drive in to class today?

Posted by: sgt128-13

"Sorry ma'am... we're the last to know. I'll forward you to someone who may have an answer to your question."

Then transfer the call to the gay, lesbian, transgender alliance office.

Posted by: resqjyw0

hahaha.

Posted by: Kilvinsky

If school is closed, will the library at least be open and where can I park?

Oh, NOT the GLTA Office AGAIN!?!?!

"Police Emergency line, you're being recorded, what is your emergency?"

"I have a paper due and I have to turn it in. I don't know if the professor will allow me to hold off due to the snow, could you call him and ask if I have to turn it in today or can I wait?"

"That's not an emergency."

"Yes it is. I don't want to get a bad grade! What do you campus cops have emergency lines for, anyway? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! Please call him and get back to me as soon as possible!!!!"

Posted by: sgt128-13

I just heard over the maintenance freq that students are submitting electronic work orders to have grounds crews come out and shovel out their cars! LMAO!!!!

Two chances of that happening... slim and none!

Posted by: lpwpd722

911 this call is recorded, what is your emergency?
When are they going to plow, I can make it up the road.

Posted by: resqjyw0

Quote:

Originally Posted by lpwpd722

911 this call is recorded, what is your emergency?
When are they going to plow, I can make it up the road.

Should have bought a 4wd vehicle

Posted by: Out2lunch

Emergency Line. This call is being recorded.... Please state your Emergency.. What exit do I get off.... Where do i park.... How much is parking... Is there a snow emergency...
Please Hold....transferr call to CEO's Voicemail....or tranferr the call to our ghost line..... ring ring all day long and no one answers...

Posted by: 5-0

During Alumni Weekend (I shit you not):

"Yeah, we're in (insert random dorm) could we get a few extra pillows and blankets?"

You can imagine the profanity in the cruiser when I heard that one. Needless to say, the dispatcher got chewed out for even putting that over the radio.

Posted by: bsc07

"If I order a pizza can I have it deliverd to you and can you pay for it? I'll pick it up later."

Posted by: Kilvinsky

My emergency is that I have a 9:00 flight and I don't think I'm going to make it. Could you send a police car to get me there? I only have a few bags. Oh, and I don't feel safe so I NEED a Police Escourt. There, I said the magic word, now could you send a car quickly?

Posted by: Edmizer1

I used to work at one of the major Boston Campuses and the cops dispatched for some of the time I was there. After hearing all of the same stuff posted here another cop told me I should tell them all to F off. I told him that it probably wouldn't go over well on a recorded line. He said to me "do what I do" and proceded to go over to an access panel on a wall just outside of disptach. He used a dime to lossen a couple of screws to open the panel. There was a giant network plug with about 25 wires going to it. He told me that if you put anyone on hold and then unplugged this cord, nothing would record until it was plugged back in. You could then tell the person off and there would be no recording. Only used it a couple of times but it was great.

Posted by: resqjyw0

Shhhhhh!!!!

Posted by: Mitpo62

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kilvinsky

My emergency is that I have a 9:00 flight and I don't think I'm going to make it. Could you send a police car to get me there? I only have a few bags. Oh, and I don't feel safe so I NEED a Police Escourt. There, I said the magic word, now could you send a car quickly?

Holy hang-up! Sounds like my old stomping grounds at the 'Tute.

Posted by: screamineagle

my buddy got a 911 call one christmas for an iguana ckoking on pine sap.

Posted by: resqjyw0

the PD of a guy I know got this call.

"I'm lost in *** State Forest with my two little dogs and I need water, I'm dehydrating."
"How long have you been in the woods?"
"Half hour..."

officers had to turn their sirens on for a half hour before she found her way out, then one officer left a map for the state forest on her windshield afterwards.

Posted by: 94c

Not 911 but after the 100th caller on the 4th of July...

"Headquarters, Desk."

"Are the fireworks still on tonight."

"Yes they are Ma'am."

"How can you have the fireworks in this pouring rain?"

"You're right ma'am, we'll cancel them right now."

"So they're not having fireworks tonight?"

"You wanted them cancelled so I cancelled them, have a good night Ma'am"

"Oh, I hope I didn't do anything wrong, officer."

"No Ma'am, I think everything will work out."

(She was completely baffled)

Posted by: K.Lavoie

Quote:

Originally Posted by 94c

Not 911 but after the 100th caller on the 4th of July...

"Headquarters, Desk."

"Are the fireworks still on tonight."

"Yes they are Ma'am."

"How can you have the fireworks in this pouring rain?"

"You're right ma'am, we'll cancel them right now."

"So they're not having fireworks tonight?"

"You wanted them cancelled so I cancelled them, have a good night Ma'am"

"Oh, I hope I didn't do anything wrong, officer."

"No Ma'am, I think everything will work out."

(She was completely baffled)

This is too funny!

Posted by: annadad71

My all time classic was on a Saturday morning at 3 A.M. on a Holiday weekend, when the phone rang and some Moron wanted to be Connected to Financial Aid so he could discuss his paper work~! The sad part is I am almost certain he got a degree from here. This job is a joke.........

Posted by: HELPMe

I am a student and I am stuck in blank town and i missed the train, can you come pick me up?

Can I leave my luggage in your office? I will be back later to pick it up when the shuttle comes.

Hello this is professor douche bag, I am not coming in today, can you please post a class cancellation sign on my door.

The best one is, Hi I am a CA xyz and I am on the other side of campus, its cold out so can I get a ride to my dorm?

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Posted by: CRASHPD

Caller: Hi is there school today?

Dispatch: Mmmmm I know this one. Your going to have to call Ext:8500 and press option #2 to get the answer though!!!

Caller: You got to be kidding me!

Dispatch: No Mam, I'm not (Hang UP)

Posted by: Kilvinsky

How about just once saying, "Por favor, No Habla English. Habla Espanol?"

Or some other language. "Ich spechen Keine English. Sprechen sie Deutche?"

Wouldn't that just blow someone's mind? ESPECIALLY the Spanish one.
Please pardon the very poor spelling.

By the way, I haven't worked the desk in YEARS and don't miss it. Hell, I'm not certified to, and I ain't working towards it either. But MY contributions are based on past calls, stories related to me by our fantastic dispatchers (God Bless them and their patience) and pure educated speculation.

Posted by: resqjyw0

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kilvinsky

How about just once saying, "Por favor, No Habla English. Habla Espanol?"

Wouldn't that just blow someone's mind? ESPECIALLY the Spanish one.
Please pardon the very poor spelling.

I would love to hear a caller's reaction to that!

It's not really an issue of spelling though, just the use of the words. It should be, "Por favor, no hablo Inglés. ¿Hablas Español?"

Then again who cares if the person on the other end only speaks English and has no idea what you're saying to begin with.

Posted by: Dan8784

Police emergency line, state your emergency. "Hi, the snow is really bad, can you drive me home?"

Posted by: Out2lunch

Police Line you are being recorded....state your emergency... Hey it's me (Officer's name not give to protect them) I locked my keys in the cruiser and I have a prisoner... can you help me out.... Stand by.... (hahahahahaha)

Posted by: BPD3352

Quote:

Originally Posted by Out2lunch

Police Line you are being recorded....state your emergency... Hey it's me (Officer's name not give to protect them) I locked my keys in the cruiser and I have a prisoner... can you help me out.... Stand by.... (hahahahahaha)

You forgot to include the tirade of swears...

Posted by: robodope

We had one last week Chinese guy calling the Emergency Line saying need help need help!!!! Then hung up..Called a local Chinese Food Establishment and she was able to speak to the guy in Cantonese via a confrence call...Within minutes she was laughing telling me the guy was in California and needed help with his Direct TV..The two talking is almost worth posting on here as a sound clip

Posted by: Loyal

I'm curious, do campuses have a "9-1-1" line like several referred to, or a designated extension ? IF the college administration issued a memo that you would have to shuttle students, post notes on class doors for cancelled classes and other things some of you posted here, wouldn't you have to do it ? Could/would your union fight it ? Or do you have to follow the college admin's directives or face the consequences ? Most local P.D.'s have a "strong chief" and no one else tells us what to do but him and the PD brass.. I imagine my question would vary by where you work, but I'd be interested in your honest answer. I was a campus police sgt years ago when the academy was held at the S.P Framingham Academy - been out of that job for years. Curious about your job in case I go back to it when I retire. Thanks

Posted by: sdb29

On Oct. 31st.

"Headquarters desk.Recorded line."

"What time does Halloween start?"

Posted by: Kilvinsky

we use (617-49)5-1212 as an emergency line which is clearly posted and 5-1215 as business, but it's never really respected as such, and honestly, I don't give a rat's ass. When I call dispatch, I use 5-1213 and it's works fine. Any call coming in is going to hit one of those lines anyway, so, whatever.

In answer to your question Loyal, we do have to do some crap stuff, but it's somewhat limited. No notes on doors, no shuttling (though the "I'm AFRAID" line forces us to do escorts when the shuttles shut down*-THAT SUCKS) and no shovelling, other than getting the cars out of snowbanks. (I had a very bad night a few years ago! Oy!) Then again, some colleges/universities are so damn big, the cops can't be expected to do some of the foolishness.

And, then again, I know there are some towns that stick the cops with goofball assignments that are in no way related to any kind of actual Police Work. It's part of the overall job. We're all in the same boat even though some don't want to, or don't like to admit it.

Am I wrong here? C'mon gang, am I?

* We are also the personal chaufers of the deans, proctors and anyone else in the so called 'higherarchy' who needs to see the poor sick student at the hospital. Man, Friday and Saturday nights can really be a bitch.

Posted by: Loyal

thanks, Kil.

Posted by: JMB1977

5-0...don't forget the after dinner or before bedtime mint under the pillow!!

Posted by: Kilvinsky

By the way, when I referenced digging cars out of snow banks, I meant CRUISERS. What a lousy night that was. I was stuck 5 times. Ever had a bunch of drunks INSIST in pushing you when you got stuck in the snow? It's an experience I hope never to have again. But damn, once I shoo'd them away, me and the other guys did have a great laugh over it.

...and it DID make a great war story!

Posted by: rg1283

Alot have the 1212, or 5555 or some combination of Same ####. 1212 was the common extension for Police Departments before 911.

Posted by: 94c

Quote:

Originally Posted by rg1283

1212 was the common extension for Police Departments before 911.

You just showed your age...

Posted by: Kilvinsky

don't forget, those numbers were put in place because it was faster to dial on the rotary phones.

Posted by: southwick34

Police this line is recorded........."Um ya Officer, can you like help my shovel my car out and like get it out of a snow bank?"
Best won ever is "um ya hi officer my roomate just peed the bed can you sent someone to help clean it up" REAL CALLS GOOD STUFF

Posted by: Kilvinsky

Quote:

Originally Posted by southwick34

Police this line is recorded
Best won ever is "um ya hi officer my roomate just peed the bed can you sent someone to help clean it up" REAL CALLS GOOD STUFF

The follow up from the very same caller....
"UM YA, HI, OFFICER, MY ROOMMATE OVER HEARD THE LAST CALL, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP ME, HE'S GOING TO KILL M......."

Sadly he would have gotten through if not for the call that came in ahead of him on the emergency line asking the score to the hockey game.

Posted by: Irish Wampanoag

When students call to see if school is canceled, which I would not really mind if the asshole administrators could call us to tell us what the situation is "school" or "no school", I just transfer the call to the Presidents Office and when he comes in there is at least 100 calls waiting for him. "MERRY SNOW DAY (MF)"

Posted by: Strideright

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Posted by: mpd61

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish Wampanoag

When students call to see if school is canceled, which I would not really mind if the asshole administrators could call us to tell us what the situation is "school" or "no school", I just transfer the call to the Presidents Office and when he comes in there is at least 100 calls waiting for him. "MERRY SNOW DAY (MF)"

Hey!

We all know stevie is the champion "school/no school" operator!

Posted by: Kilvinsky

THAT is brilliant! "You have...One-Hundred...and...fifty messages."

I LOVE IT

Posted by: Irish Wampanoag

Quote:

Originally Posted by mpd61

Hey!

We all know stevie is the champion "school/no school" operator!

OH it was great reviewing those calls. So F*%King Funny!!!! On student called and asked if there was school and was on the phone for several minutes and told him at the end of the conversation she wasnt coming in any way because she could not shovel out her car.. I could feel the heat from steve on the recorded line!!!!

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Posted by: soxrock75

I once worked at an area college that posted a HUGE sign at the front gate that displayed a phone number for a recorded "Snow Emergency" line. Now, mind you, at the time this was the only entrance to campus. So, you would think that people would see the number and then, oh I don't know, call it to see if classes were cancelled. I felt bad for the desk officer that got all the calls from the morons checking on cancellations.

Same school rented out the campus during the summer to an on-line college for teacher's across the country trying to get their Master's. They would come to the campus and complete their degrees during the summer months. These were ALL working ADULT students and some of the calls we received were just as bad as the regular students:

"Um Hi, the trash is overflowing in my room, can you come take it out???"

"The water cooler in the hall is empty, can you come and replace it?"
"Are there any full bottles next to it?"
"Well, yeah but I am not going to change it."

"Can I schedule a wake up call for 7:15?" (Not kidding)

If I was stuck working the desk during the summer, after a while I got creative and started answering the phone "Guest Services, how can I help you?"

Posted by: id1811xecj

Quote:

Originally Posted by soxrock75

Same school rented out the campus during the summer to an on-line college for teacher's across the country trying to get their Master's. They would come to the campus and complete their degrees during the summer months. These were ALL working ADULT students and some of the calls we received were just as bad as the regular students:

"Um Hi, the trash is overflowing in my room, can you come take it out???"

"The water cooler in the hall is empty, can you come and replace it?"
[I

"Are there any full bottles next to it?"[/i]
"Well, yeah but I am not going to change it."

"Can I schedule a wake up call for 7:15?" (Not kidding)

If I was stuck working the desk during the summer, after a while I got creative and started answering the phone "Guest Services, how can I help you?"

God, it sounds like my nightmares of Mount Ida College and its now defunct police department
where I learned the lessons that made me what I am today..

Posted by: soxrock75

Quote:

Originally Posted by id1811xecj

God, it sounds like my nightmares of Mount Ida College and its now defunct police department
where I learned the lessons that made me what I am today..

Yeah, once the Adults arrived, the typical "slow" time of the summer quickly disappeared.

Posted by: NEPS

The phone in the lobby and in the booking room were unlisted numbers, and if they rang it was always a wrong number. God help anyone who called those numbers. "What do you want!' was the common greeting upon answering and whoever the caller wanted was at the bar or drunk or out with some girl other than his girlfriend.

It was the Jerky Boys in reverse. Dial carefully.

Posted by: Zuke

Them-"Please help me!! There is this icy layer all over my BMW's windshield and I don't know how to remove it."
Us- "Sir, use your vehicle's defrosters to remove the ice."
Them- "How!!"

Posted by: rocksy1826

similar but not on recorded line...

guy called in. said he needed help. wouldn't give any other details.

pd, ems and fire are sent

guy's chief complaint was...

"there are too many F*$#ing black people in this town!"

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