THERE ARE scores of books, Web sites, and seminars available informing men about the most effective opening lines to use to meet women. Now, at long last, a major survey reveals the least effective pick-up lines!
"Use any of these lines to try to meet a woman, and you're guaranteed to receive either a slap in the face, a kick in the groin or a restraining order," claims Charles Gayton, director of Survey America, Inc., the company that just completed the five-year, 2,500 women survey.
The women surveyed were simply asked one question: "What was the least effective, most offensive opening line you've ever heard from a man trying to meet you?" There was no shortage of answers, according to Gayton. "Most women had at least ten that still bothered them, even after many years."
Here, according to the survey, are the world's least effective pick-up lines:
PATRIOTIC: "I'm shipping out to Iraq in the morning. Want to come back to my place and help me grease my rifle?"
"God bless the flag, God bless America, and God bless the person who created that Wonder Bra you're wearing!"
"Do you like patriotic songs? Come out to my car with me and I'll sing you my favorite. It's called 'Yank My Doodle, It's a Dandy.' "
BOASTING: "Would you like to meet God? I can set it up. He's a good friend."
"You ever been to Stockholm? I'm looking for a date to come with me when I pick up my Nobel Prize for Passion."
"Can you recommend a good plastic surgeon specializing in manhood-reduction?"
TRICKERY: "O.K., when I snap my fingers, you will awaken, fully refreshed, have no memory of being hypnotized, and will try to impress me with your being an insatiable nymphomaniac."
"Let's flip a coin. Heads -- you come home with me. Tails -- I never speak to you again, unless you demand an explanation for the two-headed coin."
"I'll be honest. I'm a frog and only a kiss from you can remove the curse and turn me into a prince. Let me just explain exactly where on me you need to kiss for it to be effective."
YUCK!: "I've shaved my back hair to reveal the words 'I Love You'."
"Allow me to buy you a drink -- living at home with my parents allows me a monthly chunk of boozing income."
"Hey, babe, in case your biological clock is ticking, I'm ready, willing and able to do my part tonight."
Posted by: CJIS
Cindy where do you come up with this stuff
Posted by: USMCTrooper
Are you wearing Windex?...because I can see myself in your pants.
Nice outfit.....it would look great in a heap on my floor.
Posted by: screamineagle
How about nice T*ts, wanna F*ck?
Posted by: Killjoy
Don't run away...that's just love you're feeling!!!
Posted by: Cinderella
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under...
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Posted by: Dane
Hi, right now I'm rash-free!
Posted by: spd722
Hey, want to get some pizza and F**K? what you don't like pizza?
Posted by: Cinderella
Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Posted by: RPD931
Quote:
Originally Posted by spd722
Hey, want to get some pizza and F**K? what you don't like pizza?
That is AWESOME!!
Posted by: Irish Wampanoag
See this dollar bill I am taking out of my pocket? All you can eat for under a buck!
Posted by: SOT
Want to see my genital herpes sores?
Posted by: jasonbr
nice SOT!
a form of a previous one mentioned:
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Posted by: Cinderella
Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
Posted by: dave7336
you look like my future ex-wife
Posted by: USMCTrooper
Just call me milk because I'd do your body good...
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?
Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag
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